Guantanamo daze

A firsthand reminiscence of the 2006 "uprising" there.

When I was 'on watch' at Gitmo, I'd go through the files. Each and every single 'detainee' had a folder, so we'd be familiar with the assholes in question. It was primarily a synopsis of the who-how-where-when shit... plus all incident reports. Like the 'riot'/'uprising' that I was on duty for in 2006... I think it was May? Let's see...

I vividly remember that day.

It was, from my POV, absolutely hilarious.

They started by faking a 'suicide' attempt...very common with those fucksticks...UNFORTUNATELY, every. single. time >something< happened, we had to act like it was the end of the fucking world amd react as such... wasted a LOT of our time and diverted a fuckton of resources regularly... more on that in a few...Anyways

So the Guards who were a MP National Guard kids...not sure which state...too many years, too many beers...I couldn't associate with them as I was "Brass" as an assimilated GS-15...essentially a Colonel...Good perks BTW...I couldn't mingle like I normally did in Iraq...

Sooooooooo

The Hajiis took a bunch of the BIG barracks fans...y'all who've been in the service know of what I speak, and made improvised machetes. They were throwing bags of piss, shit mixed with detergent to make the slippery AF and gross. They barricaded themselves in a rec room, and went bugshit. The Admiral for JTF-Gitmo, (Joint Task Force-Guantanamo Bay) finally got pissed off and ordered "Tiny" in.

"Tiny? Who is this 'Tiny' of which you speak Big Country?"

Let me tell you.
Tiny is, to my memory, the biggest baddest meanest looking black dude in history.

Like 6 foot 8. Fucking MONSTER. And as expected, the -nicest- dude I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Literally the most laid back funniest fucker on the Island. We had the "big guy" bond of being two of the largest bastards on the island...E-6...Used to go bowling with him all the time on my off days. Good with his hands too. He was on the Admiral's personal staff assigned as a Flag Occifer Bodyguard. When the Admiral finally, after about a 8 hour standoff (this's about 11pm at that point) the Admiral in the Operations Center, where we were watching -everything-via the Cameras (they were everywhere, recording everything 24-7-365 to avoid a "Abu Ghraib" sort of scandal...

Well, Bossman Harris pointed at Tiny, and told him "Get this shit ended NOW."

Took Tiny about 45 minutes to get to the site, and get geared up. We got the call saying "Check this shit out!" and the next thing we see is Tiny literally bulldozing his giant armored-to-the-max carcass through the improvised barrier they had built blocking the entryway. Like a fucking Terminator Robot going through a brick fucking wall...They had ripped down a fuckton of sheetrock, tables and bullshit, and Tiny just sort of crushed his way through it. He was carrying an M-16 with a 203 mounted under it as the 320s weren't fielded at that level yet. BIG -CRASH!- and dust everywhere... "... then all of a sudden, Tiny showed up to 'play'..."

One of the braver/stupider Haj (are there any other kind?), brandishing his improvised machete screamed "Aloha Snackbar!!!!" and charged Tiny, who immediately leveled, and used the aforementioned M-203 40mm to shoot the fucker in the chest with a non-lethal rubber baton round.

You ever seen those movies where dude gets 'blown back' unrealistically?

Yeah, well, I watched it in real life, in real time. Fucker flew backwards at warp fucking speed and went through the sheetrock wall 6 feet behind him. Little fuckheads feet were sticking all dangly and shit out of the hole...the rest of him all out-of-sight, squishtulated into/on to the wall, and probably into the next room. Fuckers crocs were left spinning on the floor. Tiny didn't even pause, but immediately pumped the empty out, and threw another round in, and asked "Anyone else?"

Needless to say, riot quashed, right there, right then.

I'd imagine that would do it, yeah. More at the link, nothing to add from here.