A bit of this, a bit of that
First the This: a true story of how scary our modern world is getting to be.
It happened thusly. I went up to CLT to see a good friend of mine, who is kind enough to every now and again take me out to his nearby Food Lion to get me a few groceries, his treat. While I sat out in the parking lot waiting for him to get there, I called my brother on the phone for a brief chat about, basically, nothing of any real importance.
Seeing my friend walking up to my car I ended the call, whereupon I inadvertently hit the “Google Assistant” button, no idea how I managed to do such an outlandish thing. The GA screen popped up, whereupon I muttered a soft Goddammit as I started hunting around for some way to make the blasted thing go away and leave me be. Never having invoked Google Assistant before, I was pretty much at sea here.
And LO! The words “God damn” appeared in the GA window. A second’s pause, and that was when an unearthly voice (male, for whatever reason) from my phone addressed me: “I see that you’re frustrated. If you need help or counseling, I can show you a list of mental health clinics near your present location.”
I barked a surprised laugh, then yelled, “SATAN! SATAN HAS TAKEN OVER MY PHONE! GET THEE BEHIND ME, YOU EVIL SUMBITCH!!”
The shoppers pushing full carts out to their own vehicles all looked at me like I was bugfuck nuts. Which, I suppose they weren’t a hundred percent wrong at that.
Now for the That: Glommed a passel of first-rate memes from the esteemed Ms Barnhardt, so I figgered I might’s well run ‘em here tonight. Which means that, for the first time ever, I can offer credit where due for them. Plenty more where these came from, all of like quality. Much obliged to ye, Miz Ann!
An extry bonus meme, this one courtesy of our friends at WRSA:
